New Years Eve

Happy New Years Eve and New Years!

I just spent 3 hours making a dinner that took my husband and I about 15 minutes or less to eat. Now one of us (I've decided me) has to spend a good hour cleaning the kitchen where the 3 hour meal was made.

Because of this 3 hour meal making event, my back, hip joints, legs, pelvic region, ankles, feet and hands are either in massive pain or numb. I even cut my thumb with a very sharp knife, and it didn't hurt nor did it bleed. Thank goodness for pregnancy numbness. It's a joy.

Even though I've said it before, I do believe this is the last "big" meal I'll be making for a long, long time. I hope my husband enjoyed it. Although we did have an enchilada making "incident" that put a damper on the meal for a bit, but it was sorta worth it all. Sorta. As long as I can make it to the bedroom without crumbling.

Santa Claus

Now I'll give a Santa Claus snippet. On xmas eve, I would hear jingle bells while laying in bed, envisioning the fat man inside our house. Oh! It must be Santa!

Nope -- dog tags. That took me a few years to figure out.

Easter Bunny

Since I'm on the subject -- When my sister and I would get up to look for our Easter baskets, one time we found a big tuff of hair in the living room, which I was sure was Easter Bunny hair. I mean, come one, what else could it be?? As time went on and as I thought back to that memory, I realized it was dog hair.

So sad.

Tooth Fairy

I just started reading Augusten Burroughs' Possible Side Effects yesterday. The first story was about his first encounter with the tooth fairy at age 7. He had never heard of the tooth fairy, and his eccentric and wealthy grandmother was kind enough to explain to him about how the tooth fairy will come into his room and take his tooth, when it falls out, and leave him some money. He didn't want anything to do with this scenario.

This got me thinking about my perceptions of the tooth fairy, whom I was desperately scared of as a kid, and also Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny (less frightful, but still bothered me). For most kids, I think, the tooth fairy is envisioned as a small, Tinkerbellish thing that somehow yanks teeth out from under pillows and puts money in its place. I, for some reason, envisioned the tooth fairy as this large woman dressed as a princess who would come into my room in the middle of the night and scare the crap out of me while she tried to do her tooth fairy job.

I was always afraid that I'd wake up right when her face was in my face, because of course the creepy tooth fairy would have to peer at me while I slept. And then I'd scream and flip out and probably be traumatized for the rest of my life. I'm not sure how the solution came about, like if I freaked out the first time a tooth fell out (mom -- please enlighten us all) so my mom came up with her ingenious solution or if my mom tried to be the tooth fairy and I did wake up and freaked out, but regardless, I made my mom's life really easy because of my fear of the tooth fairy: I put my tooth in an envelope and then stuck it outside my closed bedroom door. Voila! in the morning, my tooth was gone and I had some money.

One time I put the envelope in my closet, thinking the tooth fairy would know it was in the there, but when I checked the next morning, it was still there. I'm not sure how close this incident was to the time I found out there was no tooth fairy, and knowing me, it may have even happened after I found out there was no tooth fairy. I'm a bit lame like that. I need to test things out.

Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny freaked me out, but since they didn't have to come into my room and take something from me, I dealt with my irrational fears better. I did, however, get absolutely no sleep the night before Christmas or Easter because I was thinking about a fat man in a bright red costume and a giant bunny wandering around our house while we all slept. You'd think my lack of sleep was out of excitement, and there was probably a bit of that as well, but it was mostly from the fear of the unknown.

So I told my husband yesterday that I didn't want to put Mateo through the tooth fairy business because it's creepy and scary. He said that maybe, just maybe, Mateo wouldn't think it was scary and would be okay with it. I said I couldn't put my child through that frightening situation. I just couldn't.

So I think my husband will have to be the tooth fairy while I hide in the bathroom, waiting for him (tooth fairy him) to be done with his tooth fairy business. I'm sure I can entice a cat or two to hang out with me so I don't feel so alone.

Kids n' cats

My cats get easily freaked out by weird noises, and yesterday was a day full of them. First every time the phone rang, they both thought someone was coming to the door (this is how we let people into our building), which they both fear for some reason and run away, then Sophia heard something in our bedroom and was acting like an axe murderer was in there, ready to kills us all, then the Safeway guy showed up, which made Zoe run for her dear life and Sophia to sit in the hallway, bobbing her head up and down while the guy gave me the grocery bags, and finally after I got home from the doctors, the pipes made some awful noise in the kitchen, which not only freaked both cats out but me as well.

When I thought everything was over and done with, I began to hear this annoying "zzzzzzzz" noise from the hallway. Then kids talking. Then BAM! a crash into the hallway wall. Then "zzzzzzzzzzzz," kids, BAM! Over and over. Both cats were freaking out, Zoe in the bedroom and Sophia hunkering around the condo, trying to figure out what it was. I looked out our peephole and I saw a kid, then I saw a remote car. Darn it. I am not allowing these bratty kids to stress out my cats, I thought.

So in all my pregnant, bag lady glory, I opened our door and told them to stop playing in the hallway and to stop hitting the wall.

"What?" I heard.

Oh jeez.

"STOP HITTING THE WALL!!!" I said.

One of the kids walked over to the door and peeped at me.

"Ball?" he said.

"Stop hitting the wall -- wall!!!" I said.

"Play with a ball?" he said.

"STOP hitting the WAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL," I said for the millionth time.

He mumbled something and then walked off.

That was the last I heard of them.

Don't be messing with the crazy pregnant bag lady with the bobby-headed cat who sits in the hallway and watches all door interactions. Oh no. Don't you dare.

Trying to be accomodating

Today I have a doctor appointment at 4:50pm. I scheduled a grocery delivery between 10am and noon. This morning my doctor calls and wants me to come in early - between 9am and 10am. I said I couldn't because of the grocery delivery. A bit later the phone rings, and it's the doctor's office again, asking me to come in at 1:30pm. I said I could do that, no problem. A bit later the phone rings, and it's the Safeway guy telling me he's going to be late and won't be there until after 1pm. I told him I won't be here because of a doctor appointment. He said he's got two routes to deliver. I said I won't be here. He asked when I was leaving. I said 12:45pm. He said he could probably make it. I said okay.

So now I don't know if we're getting any groceries this week, and I've pretty much decided to never change plans the day of because they always get screwed up. I could have gone to the doctor in the morning if I had known the Safeway guy wasn't going to show up on time, and now that I changed my appointment so I will be earlier than scheduled and here when my grocery delivery is to show up, now I might not get my groceries.

I told my husband we'll just eat all the food we have in the house and then start on the cat food. In other words, I'm not going to the store.

Merry Xmas from iTunes

There is nothing more disappointing than receiving a brand new video iPod and some gift cards and getting this message when you try to purchase something from iTunes on Xmas Day:

"We're sorry, we cannot complete your request on the iTunes store at this time.

Please try again later."

This is the message my husband, myself and 1,000s of others are receiving today, Xmas Day, when trying to purchase something on iTunes. Aren't there some engineers working at apple who could care less about xmas and can fix this problem??

Merry Christmas from the homeless holiday cat

Missy Sophia is decked out in her holiday ruff whilst sleeping in a box full of CDs. Meowy Christmas!

Xmas gifts

My husband wrapped my xmas gifts last night, after I went to bed. Our kitchen table, since I can no longer sit at it comfortably, has turned into gift wrapping central. Today I walked by it and noticed a Macys bag sitting amongst the wrapping stuff.

"So you went to Macys, huh?"

"Whhhaat?" my husband said.

"There is a Macys bag on the table."

"Oh. I just found that."

Uh huh.

Belly touching

I think the people that know me know that they shouldn't go touching my big pregnant belly for fear of how I'll react. Some people can touch all they want -- my husband, my parents, my sister, any close friends, my doctor, yeah, that's about it -- but with other people, I'd rather they kept their paws off my belly.

There is a temp working my husband's group, and she immediately grabbed onto my belly the first day we were around each other for more than a few seconds. She mentioned that she likes to touch pregnant bellies and that she hopes I don't mind her touching mine. I just smiled. She thinks my husband is the nicest person on the earth, so I decided I would just play along so someone out in the world would think I was the nicest person too -- by association. She's only touched my belly one other time (so far), so I think I can suck it up and deal with it.

Last Friday my husband and I went to Town Hall for a "last nice meal/holiday/date night" sort of meal thing. We got there too early for our dinner reservations, so we were plopped at this large table in the bar area for drinks (non-alcoholic Eli's Refresher for me, thank you very much). The server for the large table area took an immediate liking to my husband and I, and he wanted to chat in between serving people their drinks.

When he brought us our drinks, he asked if we were "together." My husband said we were, kinda, and then touched my belly. The server said he didn't want to assume, cause you never know and then put both of his hands on my belly and started rubbing away. I was immediately uncomfortable because I was having a super "I'm a big, fat, disgusting, whale of a girl" day, and having someone actually touch my body while feeling that way just makes it worse for me. The server then told us how he has 26 nephews and nieces and this and that and blah blah blah and then he ran off.

Later on I told my husband that I think it's funny that the people who just touch my belly without asking are people who don't know me, and that if they did know me, they'd know better because they'd be afraid I was going to blow up.

I still think the two annoying things about being pregnant are: 1. people feel they can say anything to you about how you look, what you're doing, what you're eating/drinking, and 2. the people who think it's okay to touch a pregnant lady's belly. Yes, Mateo is in there and I'm sure he's all cute and lovable (goes without saying), but you're still only touching my enlarged belly and not him.

Husbands

My husband and I got on the elevator at work today. We were proceeded by a 3o-ish guy, dressed nicely but had an overall annoying air about him. Another girl got on the elevator, a girl whom he knew, and he started saying all this pompous stuff about how after working 10 years at their company, she too can take time off during the holidays, and oh, she'll get to leave early next week, he just bets. It was all rather annoying, cocky and just plain blah.

They got off the elevator and as soon as the doors closed I said to my husband, "And I could be married to a guy like that."

He gave me a look like he didn't know if he wanted to kill me or commiserate with me.

"What I mean is, is that I could have met a guy like him when I was younger, married him, and he acts like that at work -- just annoying."

We got to our floor, and I walked off the elevator first. As I headed to the door, I heard a loud burp emit from behind me. I turned around and said, "But instead I married you. And you keep it real."

He smiled and said, "That's true, I keeps it real!"

Cousin Ben wishes you all a Merry Xmas

Cousin Ben

Cat lives

I was estimating that Zoe had used up 7 of her cat lives on her Catser page, so I guess she's now at 8 of 9. I think when she hits 9, I'll set her clock back to zero. I love her too much.

And I'm going to have a kid...and a boy, no less

Zoe's favorite place to hang out and sleep and sometimes fight with Sophia is on top of our really tall book/vinyl case. To make things worse, there are several 7" vinyl record crates lined up in a row on top of the case, making it that much more tall. My husband and I often contemplate what would happen if Zoe fell off the side of the case, considering she likes to sleep on the last vinyl box, which is about 10" or so from the edge of the case.

Today as I was trying to get an important e-mail out, with my back turned to the case, I heard the scratchings of a cat who sounded like she may be falling off the case. I turned and looked, and there was Zoe, just falling from the case and now hanging from the side of the TV with a look of panic in her eyes. Since I can't move very fast, I didn't even attempt to try to get her off the TV and just watched the poor girl lose her grip and fall to the speaker, which she hit and then landed on the floor, knocking off a metal elephant candle holder and candle we put on the speaker top.

I waited to see what she was going to do before I tried to grab hold of her to see if anything was broken. She ran to the sliding glass door, jumped as high as she could, bashed into it and then ran off yowling. This doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with her, so I got up and tried to get her to come to me, saying her name softly. She kept meowing at me but wouldn't come.

Finally I got hold of her. I took her in our room, gave her a once over and a kiss and let her go. Now I have to spend the rest of the day checking up on her because she probably had a lion's amount of adrenaline in her system and if she is hurt, it's not going to show for a bit.

And this makes me wonder why I'm so happy to have a boy? Perhaps a little dainty girl would have been a better wish. Nah. Boys are the best.

I just can't get mad anymore

Annoyed, yes. Mad, no -- too tired for the madness.

Apparently, the bigger I get, the more interested people are in what I'm eating. Today I brought two soy corn dogs for lunch, which do look like regular corn dogs, but are much, much healthier (and taste just the same).

"I see you're eating healthy!" I was told by a rather large person. And when I say rather large, I mean, LARGE. "Corn dogs, huh?"

I tiredly looked up and said, "They're soy dogs."

"OH! So all of a sudden you are trying to be healthy?"

I looked at my husband in hopes he'd help me out because with the 3-4 hours of sleep I got, I couldn't come up with any witty response except "leave me alone before I start crying, I just want to eat my lunch in peace." He just looked at me.

"We eat a lot of soy-based products, actually," I said.

"Oh! Really? So you really do eat healthy? You know, with your chocolate problem, I just thought...."

"We just had soy meatballs with our pasta last night," I said.

"Oh! So you don't eat meat? Do YOU eat meat?" she asked my husband.

"I don't eat beef, but yes, I eat meat: chicken, pork...," he said.

"And do YOU eat meat?" she asked me.

"I don't eat beef, and I don't really like meat in general, but I do eat it."

"What about soy milk???"

"Yes, we drink soy milk," I said.

"OH! I never knew you ate healthy!" she said for the 100th time.

"My eating habits got worse when I got pregnant," I said. "But generally, yes, I do eat healthy."

Then less than 5 minutes later, another person walked into the lunchroom and said, "I see you're eating healthy for the baby. Corn dogs, huh?"

"They're soy dogs, and yes, they are healthy and have a lot of protein. Very good for the baby," I said.

"Oh. But not good for you."

"Yes, good for me as well."

"Oh."

I mean, come on! Leave me alone! I know I look like I'm carrying a watermelon around, but don't question my eating habits, darn it! Now I know to avoid soy corn dogs for lunch since it confuses so many people. Back to soup I go.

Hairy legs

My husband hates my hairy legs so much that he's out buying me Nair and he states he will attempt to shave my legs for me (Nair is if he ends up slicing my leg up and freaks out).

I think he spied some of the other pregnant ladies' legs in our classes and realized they don't have hair...like I'm playing some mean trick on him.

When did I turn into a prude?

Something seriously strange has happened to me in my 30's. The first sign was when I declared Davey Havok from the band AFI is too weird for my taste, but then I soon realized that if I was a teenager, I would be totally into this guy. And the guy from My Chemical Romance bugs me just the same, but I have to admit, again, that if I was a teenager, I would be totally into him as well.

So there we were at our first baby class that goes over pain management, labor, breathing, etc. (first of six), and low and behold, there were two girls in the class with their mothers who looked like they were 18 or less. I had to sit next to one of the girls, who oooooed and ahhhhhed whenever a newborn baby's face was shown on a video we had to watch, while I thought, yeah, that kid's cute, but I still need to figure out my maternity leave stuff, xmas is coming up, I'm deathly tired, I have bills to pay, and two cats that need flea medicine that costs 70 bucks, and oh yeah, how am I going to pay for that? In other words, I don't have a mom sitting next to me figuring out most of that stuff for me while I just giggle and act silly during a prenatal class.

The other girl wasn't so bad, and my husband thinks she was about 20 or so, but for some reason it really bothered me regardless of her age. I think it would have bothered me if I was 10 years younger, but I don't think it would have bothered me as much as it did now. Maybe it's because I'm now going to have a child who, at some young age, could impregnate a girl who is less than 18 and think it's not important enough to be with her at a prenatal class (although, if this did occur, I'd kick his butt up and down that street for 1. allowing it to happen, and 2. not taking care of his own). I'm 32 and I'm freaked out about having my first kid, so how is this girl just sitting there and giggling and saying stupid comments and acting like having a baby that young is the best idea?

Or maybe I just missed something and should have done this ages ago. Uh, yeah. Don't think so.

Xmas

I'm very big and very tired these days, so instead of trying to be sneaky, I decided to make my life easy last night. I had already planned to buy my husband gift cards for iTunes, but I knew from this point on, I wouldn't be going to any store alone or walking to the Apple store near work, and I know I could have bought them online and had them mailed, but I just don't have the will to even do that.

So there we were at Safeway last night, and I told him to grab two of the iTunes gift cards. He asked who they were for, and I said, "Who do you think???"

He mentioned two of our friends, and I said, "NOOOOOO."

He looked confused while I had a 'come on, now' look on my face.

"They're for the very spoiled person I live with!!" I said.

"Buuuttt--- you said you bought my gift and it was 130 dollars....and...and...," he said.

"Don't worry about it," I told him.

I then gave him some story about how his gift was always being delayed, so I cancelled it cause I didn't want to play the "is it coming before xmas or not game."

What I found very interesting is that his whole attitude completely changed from that point on. He was suddenly very chipper and peppy. I did inform him that he can't have his gift cards until xmas, and that he needed to pretend he never saw anything.

Updated: Mail

I received mail from Verizon Wireless telling me that the chocolate Razr phone is as Latino as myself. So I guess it's not very Latino since I'm not very Latino. Does that mean I buy it?

Update:

It actually said: Chocolate. As Latino as you.

I showed it to my husband, who is Latino, and he said, "Throw that away!!!" I guess he felt this way based on the implications that Chocolate is dark, and dark is Latino, and that's just plain silly in general.

Where's the vanilla phone?

Vanilla. As pale as you. Now that's got some meaning to me.

20 questions at Kohls

"When are you due?"

"Are these gifts?"

"When did you sign up?" (for the credit card)

"Are these gifts" (second time)

"What are you having?"

"Is that your first boy?"

"What's that coupon in your wallet?" (another Kohls coupon that gave a lesser discount than the one I was using)

I was drilled!!!

Xmas shopping

Our last xmas shopping trip was to Kohls yesterday, and it mysteriously turned into a fancy pants clothes shopping trip for my husband. Did I know of this plan? No. It was a sneak attack. He all of a sudden needed new dress pants, belt and shirt for our office's xmas party (oh, excuse me, Year End Event), that I probably won't even be going to because I can't really get dressed up right now unless I can turn a garbage bag into something spectacular to wear and tissue boxes into shoes.

So there I was, huge and uncomfortable and suddenly very tired, following my husband around the Kohls men's department while he shopped. Kohls doesn't believe in giving the old, tired, wounded or pregnant people chairs to sit in, so I had to lean against displays while mentally telling my husband to hurry up. A lady gave me some sympathy, which I greatly appreciated, and then we were off to the dressing rooms for him to try on his fancy clothes.

At some point I just gave up and went into the dressing room with him so I could sit down. Which actually turns out to work better for us because I can comment on his clothing choices as he puts stuff on instead of waiting for minutes and minutes until he comes out to show me.

I'm still wondering who he's getting all fancy pants dressed up for since I'll probably be at home.

Friday night

What does a 30-week pregnant lady do on a Friday night while her husband is off with his friends at some stupid Strikeforce fighting thing? Sleeping. At 7pm. Pregnancy is fun.

Funny funny FUNNY

My co-worker sent me this link to listen to. She was snickering the whole time she was listening to it, and I kept thinking there was no way it was that funny. Turns out I'm wrong. Take a listen.

Getting A Life

I just finished the book Getting a Life: Stories by Helen Simpson. I bought this book at Borders (I know this because of the Borders sticker on the back, but honestly, I don't remember when I bought this book) and I randomly picked it to read after finishing the last book I read.

So by now anyone who knows me knows that I'm pregnant. And anyone who knows me knows that I wish I could work at home so that Mateo doesn't have to be in daycare. Then I read this book, written by a British author who doesn't have much of a fun sense of humor although re-reading the back of the book synopsis over and over states she does, and I wanted to throw it away or stomp on it or fling it out into the wildness like the frisbee it should be.

Why?

Well, every single story is about women who have 3 or more kids and who have either decided to stay home and raise them or who work and decided to have a nanny raise them. And neither way is particular pleasant, according to the author. It made me very sad. It made me wonder if life is really that terribly dull and painful and marriages just crumble to nothing because a couple introduces a child into the world. Plus, it just was not funny at all. It was more depressing than funny, so once again I'm left feeling I just don't get British humor at all.

It took me a long time to get through this book (checking stats....3 weeks! WAY too long for a bookworm like myself and for a book that doesn't have many difficult thoughts to it), and as I was nearing the end, I was getting rather excited at the prospect of finishing it and moving onto something else. Then I got to a story that features a character named Janine. Yes, that's right. Janine. Spelled the same way as mine name. Janine was a sad wife and mother who loved operas. But didn't much like her husband or the people her husband had to work with. Basically she was the same character as all the others, but her name was Janine. My heart sunk. Coincidental, yes, but still annoying.

I finally finished the book today, and it's immediately going to be donated to the "take a book, leave a book" table at work because I don't want anything to do with it anymore. Curses to you Getting a Life! Curses!!!!

Credit cards

A couple of weeks ago I went to Kohls with my mom and I got "coerced" into signing up for a Kohls credit card -- because of the tremendous deals I will receive. Oh yes, tremendous deals are the best. So even though I really didn't want another credit card, I'm a sucker for tremendous deals and I signed up. Instead of doing it on paper or online, I used their handy-dandy credit card swiper machine to sign up for my credit card. After entering my information, which consisted of only numbers (social security number, address, phone number), I was approved with a whopping $1500 credit limit. The sales guy then gave me a paper to sign, which I did, and that was that. I was all set for the tremendous deals that would happen year round.

Yesterday I got mail from Kohls, and I thought it was my first credit card bill. So I opened it, and instead of being a bill, it was a letter informing me that me or someone else in my household (darn those cats) signed up for their protection plan and that I would be charged $1.60 per $100 I spent. It went on to explain how helpful this will be for me in case something terrible happens to me and I can't pay my credit card bill anymore. Now, I had charged up a huge credit card bill of $22 bucks the first time I've used my account (dripping with sarcasm}, and even though I received my card, I haven't called to activate it or even signed it, so I'm thinking, why the heck would I sign up for a protection plan to protect me from my $22 bill? Darn those cats....

Ah...but then I realized that since I signed up so quickly and efficiently without being able to read anything, I ended up signing myself up for this lovely plan by signing the agreement. Pretty sneaky, I tell you. So now I get to make a fun customer service call to cancel this plan that I don't want because I'm pretty sure I'll be able to pay my $22 credit card bill -- when I get it.