I do stupid things so you don't have to. You're welcome.

So there I was on Monday, working my butt off trying to get a million things done in one day, when my work cell phone rings. I looked at the number quickly, answered it, and listened to a female robot telling me my ATM card was disabled due to some system error and blahblahblah and I was going to be transferred to the security team of my bank. Oh, let's just call my bank "Home Town Bank" or "HTB" for short.

(Note: It is now Friday, and, as I stated, I was super busy on Monday, so I wasn't fully listening to everything the robot was saying to me, so the following is a mere paraphrase of real events. Or something like that. Just take my word for it, and, as you will see, I'm too simple to make things up.)

Robot: Before you can speak to a security specialist, you will need to answer four questions so we can verify your identity.

Me: Ugh, just get on with it.

Robot: Please enter the last four digits of your social security number.

Me: Hmm, that's weird. Usually it's the last five digits. Oh well, what the hey. (I proceed to enter the last four digits of my social security number, which, I must tell you, is not easy to do on a BlackBerry with its teeny tiny little keys that are so unlike an iPhone I feel like a giant when trying to enter anything into my phone.)

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for [something else I wasn't paying attention to].

Me: Frickin' frackin, I got work to do. (I get up and get my wallet, pull out my ATM card, and slowly and very painfully begin to type in my ATM card number.)

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for your ATM card.

Me: Huh? What was the previous prompt for if it wasn't for my ATM card? Waaaaaaaiiiitttt a minute. (Dawns on my how incredibly fishy this whole scenario is...I pull up my email to see if I received an email from HTB about my account - nothing. I access my account online -- nothing there either (and luckily I have money in my account still.) I IM my husband and ask him if he used the card this morning -- he did but only for a small amount and with no issues.)

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for your ATM card.

Me: Um.....

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for your ATM card.

Me: Waaaaaiiiittt a minute...most robot phone things will send you off to the land of the real people if you don't follow the directions correctly after the third time.

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for your ATM card.

Me: OMGWHID. (Oh my goodness what have I done.)

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for your ATM card.

Me: Uh oh.

Robot: Now enter your [some random number I barely heard] account number for your ATM card.

Me: (Click.)

I immediately call HTB, wield through HTB's robot voice command system to finally get to a real person.

Customer service rep (CSR): Blahblahblah, niceties, how can I help you?

Me: Uh, well...I just received a call about my ATM card being disabled or something due to some hardware issues or something...honestly I wasn't really listening, and now I think it was a fake call and I want to know if something really is happening to my ATM card.

CSR: Ohhhhh....well....we've had a lot of people calling about emails and phone calls lately, and this and that and ... long story short ... I think you should cancel your card.

Me: Do it! Do it now! SAVE ME SUPER NICE CSR LADY WITH THE SOUTHERN ACCENT.

She questioned me further about giving the last four digits of my social security number, and I admitted AGAIN that I was a big dummy and yes, I did punch the numbers into the phone, and, well, that's how I ended up with a nice new "Enhanced Identity Theft Protection" account for only $15.99 a month. Seriously, I need this. I'm not fit to be an adult or take care of my family. Perhaps I should hire a secret agent spy man to stealthily follow me about to ensure I don't fall into a hole or leave my kid in a shopping cart in the parking lot? Perhaps.

And the kicker? I work for HTB. I've worked for HTB for over 10 years. I SHOULD KNOW BETTER, PEOPLE! So this just proves even someone who works for a bank can be fooled by some random phone call from a robot. Learn from me. Learn.from.me.