The smells you smell on BART

Two annoying things happened today on BART.

1. Line etiquette.

I'm a big believer in line etiquette. This basically means, when you pick your line, you go to the end and you stand and you wait. You don't lurk off to the side, you don't bug other people in line unless it's an extreme case, and you just mind your own darn business while moving up and to the side accordingly.

So the lady two up from me got attacked by a friend or co-worker who happened by her. The lady in front of me got on the next train, so I moved one up. I decided not to be annoyed by the talking ladies even if her friend decides to take advantage of "happening upon" her pal. Whatever, let it go. I could only hope they weren't getting on the same train, then I could either bypass them or they'd get on before me.

So the next train shows up, and the people in front of the ladies move up and get on the train. The lady that was initially standing in line freaks out and moves off to the right side, out of the line...buuuuttt, it's still a bit questionable and her friend is still in line. I'm trying to be silently forceful and make them either move up or move to the side or get out of line altogether. The friend is still in line, and she's freaking out that the other lady got out of line. I'm standing directly behind her, book in hand and iPod plugged in, so I couldn't hear what they're saying. The friends is hand motioning her to get back in line and the lady is still off to the side, freaking out and shaking her head no. I'm still standing there, hoping no one bashes into me because now there's a kink in the line, and that kink is named lady and now me. Finally after standing there for what seems like a million years, the friend gets out of line too. They continue to titter together, and I gladly move on up. Hey! After all that, I was first in line for the Fremont train. It could have been a bad scene, but my patience and line etiquette proved positive.

Either that, or I just cut in front of them. Not really sure.

2. Smelly folk.

When I got on the train, I sat in a window seat -- the seat of my choice because it's easier to sleep in the window seat than in the aisle seat. And if you fall asleep in the aisle seat, you're liable to be a bob and weaver, and there's no way I'm going to do that unless I can't help it. At the next stop, a lady sits down next to me.

Now, I'm a big smeller -- I smell everything and most smells offend me. The lady that sat next to me smelled like a very harsh, toxic burning plastic smell. I'm always afraid I'll start coughing or gagging or something (depends on the smell, of course) when someone whose smell offends me, but I haven't done it yet. I have gotten up and moved, but that's for extremes like the homeless folk who for some reason want to sit next to non-homeless folk. I finally get used to her smell, and I start getting tired, and I lean my head on my hand (leaning towards the window, mind you) and then another smell hits me.

Farts!

The man behind me either was farting or had breath that smelled like farts. OMG. I know that when you've got to fart, you've got to fart, but please keep your farting off of BART. Even though there is air passing through the cars, it's not enough air to quickly dissipate a fart smell. And this can be the worst of any smells, depending on the human. It took a minute or two, but finally the fart smell went away, and I didn't die in my cloud of toxic plastic on one side and farts behind me.

I wonder what the person next to him thought?

Actually, I wonder if the lady next to me thought I was the farter.