Lurkers, lurkers everywhere

It's the return of the lurker season!!!

I've mentioned lurkers before, and while they are fairly common, it seems when summertime is upon us, they come out in droves to the BART station.

Today, while I was waiting for the Fremont train to get my tired butt home, a lurker with a suitcase (the worst kind) tramped her way to the front of the line. I think she was asking me which train went to the airport, but I had my earbuds in and my music up loud and I was reading and well, I really don't care that she didn't take the time to figure out how to get to the airport via public transportation, so I never looked up.

What I really don't get about lurkers with suitcases is that 1. Why they don't figure out how to use the public transportation system of their choice when they decided that's how they're going to go. and 2. Why they don't talk to the station agent before heading downstairs with their suitcase.

I've gone on several trips where I used another city's public transportation system, and I figured it out before using it. These people live here and don't even bother. Believe me, until you use Boston's MBTA system, you haven't lived. Talk about confusing. And never once did we ask another train rider for help. We got lost and suffered, or figured it out ourselves, or asked the guy in the booth who you can hardly see because it's so dark down in the tunnels. Good thing it only costs a quarter for a token because there's nothing like going down one entryway to figure out you need to be on the other side – which requires another token to get to.

Anyway. So this lady apparently thought I was helpful, but since I didn't answer her, she moved to the lady in front of me who very noncommittally said "Fremont Train," and looked away. No one who takes BART every day wants to have a lurker piggyback him or her. First it's "which train do I take, looky-me, I'm a dummy who didn't think this through," and then it's the lurker sitting next to you and wanting to TALK to you while they're on the train. Hello? Get away, lurker!

She did get on the train, and low and behold, she did sit next to the lady whom she asked which train to take (oh man, it could have been me!). But she was very important and had to talk on her cell phone the whole way to Oakland while leaning forward and squinting at the train map every 5 seconds. Look – if you're going to ask someone which train to take, I can understand at least looking one time to see if the person isn't lying to you and sending you off to the bowels of Richmond, but to look every 5 seconds gets old. It also makes the person who's nice enough to be your personal transportation director not want to give out info to the next lurker. And talking on your cell phone is just plain annoying.

So here's a lesson for lurkers – if someone willingly approaches a lurker and chats them up, just know something bad is happening behind the scenes. My mom told me story once where a couple who came to the Bay Area for a visit were on the BART platform and obviously looked like tourists (some but not all tourists are lurkers). A "very well-dressed" businessman approached them and asked them if they needed help figuring out which train to take. Always say no. Even if you do end up in Richmond. No regular BART rider will willingly approach you, you lurker. We don't care, and we certainly don't want to take your BART ride success as our responsibility. Needless to say, the tourists were out 1000 bucks or something like that. Nice businessman was helping himself to their money while he was chatting them up. How do you think he got to be so well-dressed???