Stupid Little Man

First -- just a quick note -- Red-haired man bypassed me again this morning. Sat on the bench behind me. This is getting interesting. I guess he does hate me.

Second -- the quick tale of the stupid little man.

So you have to be either really quick and crafty to get on the escalator going up some mornings or you just have to wait. Lately I've been waiting because I don't like being one of those "darters" who try to cut the people off who are in the stream going to the escalators. Really, what am I saving? 1 minute? 30 seconds? Gee - if you're that interested in getting to work, then you go right ahead. I'll just linger by this pole over here.

This morning, there was a gap between the second to last person in the stream and the last person. Usually the people getting out of the first door on the first car maintain this stream. I'm coming from the second door on the first car, so I have to maneuver myself into the stream without annoying anyone. Now, this is the stream going up the right side of the escalator -- the lazy person's side. You aren't expected to walk; you just stand leisurely or sleepily while the escalator does its job. Since there was a reasonable gap, I moved smoothly into the line. Kind of like changing lanes in traffic...sometimes it's smooth, sometimes it's fatal.

I was just about ready to step onto the first step of the escalator when this little stupid man came out of nowhere, gave me a quick side glance (obviously he didn't know who he was dealing with here) and tried to squeeze right in front of me! I thought, waaaaiiiiittt a minute. Are you one of them special people that think the BART operators will open the door for you because you've rushed the train? Well, not on my beat, Mr. Stupid Little Man! I had a choice, either risk breaking my neck because this stupid little man wanted in front of me or push him out and not let him in. I choose number 2. I was basically stepping on the escalator at that point, so if I tried to stop, I would have cause a major traffic jam and possibly a few broken bones. If you don't know the escalator etiquette, then that's not my fault and I wasn't put on this earth to teach you.

So I assumed stupid little man would at least stick to the left side of the escalator (the side for weird people who like exercise), huff it up a few steps and try to squeeze into a gap further up, but he didn't. I guess he was behind me, but I didn't feel any kicks to my calves by his stupid little man feet. Not really sure what happened to him. But believe me, I was wondering all the way up because I didn't want to be ambushed by stupid little man hands.

Oh, man...side glances equate you not getting your way with me. Don't even try it....