Number 1, and Number 2...

I know my husband doesn't realize he does this, but he does (he will now, at least). Every night while we eat dinner, I get schooled. Typical conversation:

Me: So my mom went to her new gym for the hour with the trainer, and the trainer was making my mom do more than she could, and when my mom told her she shouldn't be doing it, the lady kept saying she had to....

Husband (interrupting me in mid sentence -- I sometimes keep plowing through my thought, because I know what's coming up, but most of the time I just succumb to it): I knew she shouldn't have done that....

(and this begins the schooling -- and man, when it's about working out, he's got a lot to say)

...Number one: blahblahblahblahblah... Number two: blahblahblah...

What amazes me is that he does this every night and on other various occasions when he feels like schooling others. Perhaps I should call him school marm. The first time he did it (many, many months ago), I was like, oh, how cute. He's going to give me two reasons and he's numbering them! And then as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and now it's almost November, I'm starting to think it's not so cute. In fact, it's a bit annoying. At least I know I'm in for a long lecture of why 1. this shouldn't of happened for this reason, and 2. it also shouldn't have happened this way for this reason as well. It's a warning sign, a bright red flag waving with a loud siren screaming in the background, if you will.

What's even more fun is when he does it to other people in my presence. They look at him, like, oh -- you're so wise! You're giving me a couple of reasons of why something isn't correct! School me!!

And you can't even try to stop the numbering when it happens unless you get up and walk away. He usually winds down then, but sometimes he just follows you with number 2 rolling off his tongue. I've interrupted him on many an occasion, but he just hangs on to number 2 until I'm done.

I can't wait until he hits number 3 in his reasons. That'll be like a whole half hour of nonstop talk!

For my husband who may or may not read this (he's reading my blog now and says I exaggerate): Don't be shaking your head thinking I'm a crazy loon because it's true and I'll call you on it!