Monday, November 07, 2005

Tweedle Dumb & Tweedle Dee

I have two new nemesis's on BART. I have named them Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee. Tweedle Dee is actually the tissue lady -- I just didn't realize who she was the day she sat next to me with the tissue pushed against her face because Tweedle Dumb wasn't around. A few days later, I realized she was Tweedle Dumb's partner in crime.

They've been taking the same train as me for about a month now. And I think, but I'm not sure, I was always getting to the BART station before them, so they were never an issue to me. Now they're getting to the station before me, which makes my blood boil.

What they do is this: They desperately want to sit next to each other on the train, and for some reason, the only section of the car that they're interested in is the same section I'm interested in -- the end portion, where there are fewer seats. So the little one (Tweedle Dee aka tissue lady) bum rushes the door with Tweedle Dumb trailing (she's taller and fatter and I guess slower) to get the only open bench at the end. Which is what I'm always trying to do so I can get a window seat. So now I'm in constant competition with them to get the choice seat on the car. But since Tweedle Dee acts like a bullet released from a gun, and then Tweedle Dumb in on her butt, I can barely get in the door.

Tonight I was first in my line while they were first in their line to get on the train. They technically, if they knew how to follow the unwritten rules of standing in a BART line, should have headed to the center of the car because they were in the left lane. Since I was in the right lane, that gave me full rights to the end of the car.

As soon as the train pulled up, Tweedle Dee move to the center of the door.

Oh no, HELL NO, you're not getting in front of me, I thought.

A man was waiting on the other side of the door to get off the train, so I kinda moved to the right so he'd have to leave by walking down the center of the two lines, which then pushed Tweedle Dee out of the way a bit, and I darted onto the train.

Unfortunately, there were two open seats, one with a man sitting behind with his arm draped over the back of the empty seat (no thanks -- I got whapped on the head the other day by some stupid man who didn't understand that people like to sit in their sits and so that doesn't mean he can wave his arms around and snag people's hair), so I headed to the other empty seat. Tweedle Dee and Dumb bum rushed my reject seat, cutting off several folks who were headed in that direction.

If only there was one empty seat. If only. So now I've got to deal with these two every night.

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