Hey-suess

So I thought it was a grand idea to attach my Mi Familia Zarate key chain featuring the man himself, wizard extraordinaire that turns one fish into many, Jesus, to my work bag. Hey. Why not. It was free, my last name is Zarate, and who can deny the pleasure of sporting such a fabulous item around?

All was working out okay for me. I even came across a 5-dollar bill while walking into Safeway. I figured I had the power of Jesus on my side, so I wasn't about to ask anyone outside if it was theirs. I'm not stupid.

When I got home, Jesus fell off my bag and hit the ground. It was then that all hell broke loose. I opened a cabinet door, and a bottle of something flew out and hit my open can of diet Dr. Skipper (the cheap Dr. Pepper), knocking it onto the ground, where a fountain of Dr. Skipper began to flow. Interestingly enough, the can landed on its bottom. So I picked it up, my lovely hubby cleaned up the mess, and I realized that once you go knocking around soda, it really looses its carbonation.

And then...I almost did it again. Yes, it's true. I opened the cabinet door, and a bottle of something fell out, knocked into my can, but it only moved it closer to the sink. Phew. That was when my husband asked me what was wrong with me. I told him Jesus left me. He removed himself from my bag. I was going to hell.

He said I was going to fall down the escalator at the BART station.

I said he was probably correct.

Luckily we were both wrong, and I didn't fall down the escalator. In fact, something good happened to me today instead.

We have this wonderful coke machine at work that eventually spits dollars out -- usually way after the person has left with their cold drink -- for anyone to take. My husband asked if I had any change because he wanted to buy something from the vending machine. I told him nope. I only had that five bucks I found, and I spent that in the morning at Starbucks. So he was a bit sad because he couldn't even buy a pack of Lifesavers with his change.

He left the lunchroom, I left the lunchroom in the other direction, and low and behold, there was a dollar sticking out of the coke machine.

So I took it.

And being the nice person I am, I put it on my husband's desk for him to find when he sat down.

And no, he didn't offer to give me half of whatever he bought. But he did bring home some gigantic cinnamon rolls for us to eat tonight.

Perhaps one doesn't need a Hey-suess key chain to be so lucky.