Danger! It's smells like popcorn!

I bought some snack packs of popcorn today (Pop Secret, which I just realized is a play on "top secret," those clever, clever popcorn folks) because I'm starting my diet again in hopes I lose all the milkshakes, chicken sandwiches and french fries I consumed while pregnant with Mateo.

I decided to have some popcorn because the snack packs of Sun Chips I bought were tempting me but I didn't want to spend my weight watcher's points on them just yet. I quickly glanced at the instructions. It said to keep in the microwave for three minutes but that's the maximum time and each microwave is different and that I should keep my eye on it. I put it in, closed the door, set it for 3 minutes. I stood there, but then thought to myself, I should go sit down and keep working while my tasty popcorn pops away.

I sat down, worked for about two and a half minutes, heard the timer go off, went over and saw massive amounts of smoke in the microwave.

Uh oh, I thought.

I opened the door and dead popcorn smoke billowed out. I turned on the exhaust fan, started fanning away, and then ran to open the back door. I went back into the kitchen, grabbed the bag, which was still puffing out smoke like a small dragon, and opened the bag a bit more. More smoke puffed out, and the inside contents looked like charred popcorny sadness. The bag and remains would not stop puffing away, so I put the bag in the sink and turned on the water. After about 30 seconds, the smoke stopped. And I had a bag of smokey-smelling, watery, black popcorn goo.

Hmmm, I thought. This is so not good. Not only am I sad, sad gal who cannot read and then remember simple instructions, I almost burnt the place down. I'm not sure if smoke even triggers anything in our condo, but I've been through enough real fire alarms here to know I don't want to be the idiot who set her kitchen on fire because she was popping popcorn. And one person alone is not enough to rangle up two frighten cats to put them in their cat carriers so they can be saved as well as oneself.

However, still in the mood for said popcorn, I opened another bag and popped away. This time I set the timer at two minutes and stood there the whole time, waiting for the popping sounds to slowly...stop.

I'm waiting for my husband to come home and ask why our place smells like smoke...or is that popcorny smoke?