Bottle opener. Or, how we ate plastic fumes.

Last weekend my husband offered to make turkey burgers for us. Of course momma didn't raise a dummy and I agreed.

On weekends we tend to enjoy a few beers. While he was making dinner, I decided I wanted to have a beer, more because I need to start early since I can only drink tops three beers but most likely two, and after the first one, it takes me about two hours to finish the second one. And I go to bed early. That's really the more important part.

My husband, who was in the kitchen, and since our kitchen is tiny, got my beer for me, took the top off and handed it to me.

After a bit my husband decided he wanted his beer, so he got it out of the fridge.

"Where'd I put the bottle opener?" he said.

"Huh?" I said.

"The bottle opener, I can't find it."

We both looked and looked and looked. I even looked in the trash compactor. Every cabinet drawer, the freezer, the fridge, the table, the dishwasher were all looked through.

The bottle opener was simply missing. Just. Like. That.

My husband tends to do this a lot with things, so I figured it would show up again someday, and in the meantime, we'll fork over the two bucks to buy a new one. After some rummaging, he found some tool with 50 purposes, one being a bottle opener (in case you need a beer while working), and all was okay in the world again.

Yesterday I was putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Conveniently the broiler pan is always left for me to deal with even though my husband is smart and puts tinfoil down to catch all the grease and yuck and muck. I took the top part of the pan off, the part where the burgers sit, and saw something weird sitting in the tray part. I looked again. This is what I found:



As you can see, it's a bottle opener with a very melted plastic backing. It's also slightly browned.

My husband just walked out of Mateo's room after putting him to bed.

"I found the bottle opener," I said.

"I just closed the door when you said that," he told me. For some reason.

"That's nice. I found the bottle opener," I said again.

"Oh yea? Where?"

I pointed to it and said, "in the broiler pan."

"Oh.....Well, I guess it's good nothing happened to us."

"Except that we ate burgers full of melted plastic fumes," I said.