Saturday, August 30, 2008

This isn't a funny post.

We all can't be funny (or attempt to be) all the time. This is an unfunny post, so if you're looking for some giggles go to one of those other funny blogs you like to read.

Last night my husband and I got to spend a very rare few hours after work acting like youngins, drinking beers and shooting the breeze with a work friend. I almost backed out of it because I was feeling really guilty about having my momma pick Mateo up from daycare, taking him to our place, feed him, hanging out with him and then putting him to bed. It's just a lot of work, and Mateo loves his routines, and even though one night of things being slightly off wasn't going to kill him, I was seriously contemplating going home, telling Grandma she was off the hook and spending the evening with my boy while my husband went out with our friend.

Then several people told me to suck it up and get over it and go out and have fun, so I did.

We had a fun time making fun of people, complaining, talking about things in general and then it was time to leave. Mom and Dad (us) had to get home before 8pm and since we left work early, we were all done by 6pmish.

My husband and I were hungry, so we stopped at a pizza eatery to get a slice of pizza before hopping on the BART train.

We were standing on the sidewalk, outside the eatery, shoving pizza in our mouths, talking about how San Francisco (Union Square area) is getting more and more gross and how if we were tourists, we'd be really annoyed that we spent so much money to get to SF to find the "puke and sh*t" show on the sidewalks (as we deemed it when walking to Lefty's - REALLY foul smelling streets these days).

My husband began shaking his head, so I looked in the direction he was looking.

A man was walking towards us, panhandling.

I've been working in SF for 9 years now, and I have spent plenty of time in SF outside of working, and I tell you, you get numb to all the people approaching you for money to "buy a BART ticket" (yet they never manage to walk in the direction of a BART station once they have cash in hand, go figure). I see the same homeless or slightly homeless people each and every day. I think on Friday this one really mentally distraught man told me to f-off because I walked right by him and didn't acknowledge his presence. But see, I have acknowledged him many times because he's not new to me, but I know I'm new to him.

As the man walked up to us, he started saying, "Listen brother, don't let her tell you to beat me up."

Right then my anger began to stew. This isn't new for my husband and I; he's Mexican and I'm white and maybe others don't know that we're actually married and have a kid (neither one of us wears a wedding band; husband "lost" his (he blames our cat), and I'm still too overweight to get mine back on). I think people think we're just somehow two people together.

To me, what's the difference between me hanging out with a Mexican guy than a black guy than an Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern guy? Nothing. So when this guy (who was black) said that, I was already on the defensive because he was going for the race card and I'm the silly, ignorant white girl who has to stand there and be talked about like she's not there.

The man said he saw that my husband was already shaking his head no, but to hear him out. He wanted 10 cents to get on the BART train (sigh...). My husband said he doesn't give anyone money (not really true), and that means he's not giving him 10 cents. The man then starts talking him up, trying to badger him into giving him a measly 10 cents, and that's not too much to ask for, and so on and so forth.

That's when I lost it.

I turned to him and told him maybe he should consider the fact that my husband has a child whom he needs to pay for and maybe, just maybe giving him 10 cents would take money away from my husband's kid. I never said "our" kid, just that "he" had a kid he needed to take care of, oh at the tune of $400 a week.

The man actually seemed apologetic, not that I think it was ever sincere, until I mentioned something about the kid being "our" kid. That's when he got annoyed. Because that means my husband and I were more than just two people standing around eating pizza together.

I don't quite remember how the rest of the yelling match went, but the man pulled the race card, said I was mad because he was black, and that he had two kids too. My husband removed the man from the situation, which caused my husband to be mad at me for the whole situation happening in general.

I'm just tired of being hit up for money, especially when I'm freaked out most of the time about our spending habits and how much debt we've racked up, and I'm especially tired of people pulling the race card as a matter of convenience. And yes, it's easy to just ignore it when it happens, but when it's badgering and badgering and badgering, that's that hard part for me. I'm tired of it being perfectly okay for random people to approach me about random stuff and then getting annoyed at me when I don't have 5 minutes for the environment.

I just want to go home, see my kid, give him a hug and call it a day.


Mom, Grandma, Coach said...

I hope Mateo doesn't end up an orphan someday because Mom doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut!

Nut Nut said...

I'm moving to a shack in Alaska. At least I won't sweat so much there.

Neece said...

I don't really get it. What is the point of arguing with someone on the street? I think you have to think about Mateo before you decide to flip out on strangers. What if he had a knife and stabbed you both?