I really, really wish I were a 34-year old who looked like a 34-year old or older, only because then I think people would immediately take me seriously instead of after they realize I am, in fact, pretty darn tootin' smart AND creative even though I look young and act even younger and I have a lot of silly toys at my desk and I like cartoons and puppets and running around while singing and dancing and acting the fool.
I'm sure I could achieve this look, the "professional" look, if I so wanted to, but I tell you, Lane Bryant clothes are dang expensive, and I really don't want to commit to a professional wardrobe if it's going to cost me a bazillion dollars and give me a constant reminder that I've yet to lose any baby weight and only keep gaining weight because there are way too many sugary items and carbs in the house.
Woah. That was a fun tangent.
Last Thursday when I had Mateo with me because he was starting his long stint of a chest cold, we ventured out to Trader Joe's to buy the remainder of the week's groceries. Since it was Thursday, which was our Friday because my husband was taking Friday off, I thought I'd buy a 6-pack of beer* and a bottle of Samuel Smith's** for my husband.
When I wheeled up to the cashier, he eyeballed me and I eyeballed him and then we both looked away. I wasn't sure why he was eyeballing me, and since I am the type of person to have weird things stuck to her face and no one tells her, I assumed something was amiss with my appearance.
When he started unloading my cart, he said the usual pleasantries, and I replied in turn.
Then he said, "Do you mind if I take a look at your ID? Just because you brought your little brother with you doesn't mean you're old enough to buy beer."
Awwww....I thought. I easily have 10 or more years on this guy and he's being all cute and what not and tee hee! I got carded!
"Oh man," I said. "You found out my scheme! I only borrow him so I can buy beer!" (Yes, I know. I sounded and read like a complete dork.)
So while this could easily had been a tee hee, he carded me even though he knew I was old enough to buy alcohol story, or even one of those, he carded me in a very serious manner, and then exclaimed, "Daaaaaaaammmnnnn...you look good for your age!" and whistled seductively at me story, it wasn't either. It was more "I'm not sure if she really is old enough and I don't want to lose my job, so I'll use the clever line I came up with to ask her and she'll be tickled (that is, if she really is old enough to buy alcohol), and maybe she'll even joke back and then it'll all be over" story.
Like getting a splinter pulled out of your thumb at 6th grade camp. Yeah. Just like that. And I know because that happened to me.
**As of today, neither a beer from the 6-pack nor the Samuel Smith's lager has been consumed due to the passing of cooties.