Youdata: An update.

I take it back - you don't get excessive amounts of money from Youdata.com. Nope. So far this week I've earned a big, fat ZERO for looking at NOTHING.

But that's okay. I understand that Youdata is like a smooth talking lover who romances you with roses and champagne (or cava, which I prefer over that French concoction), fine dinners and diamonds, and then a nice back rub at the end of the night with no strings attached. Well, except that you have to look at the same ads over and over, so much so, you subliminally want to buy the stuff they are advertising.

And then the next week arrives, and you're all happy because not only have you been out to dinner a few times, drank some lovely champagne and are strutting around with that fabulous diamond necklace everyone is all "ohhhh..." and "ahhhhh..." about, but then...the.ads.sorta.stop.

Well, no, not entirely. You may get one or two, or enough to buy yourself one venti coffee from Starbucks. Let's just say you view enough ads so that you still have hope. Hope that your relationship with Youdata isn't completely over just yet, and that perhaps Youdata is just really tired from all the back rubs it gave you the week before.

The next week arrives, and your third week with Youdata begins with a bang and you look at some ads. And then. They just stop coming. But you keep looking because you just know Youdata is really busy with early Christmas shopping or maybe it caught that terrible chest cold that's been going around, or perhaps it even lost its voice and that's why it hasn't called you in a week. The hope lives on.

When the fourth week hits, you decide to wake up and realize that Youdata is a mean, mean, spiteful, evil lover. It just wants to toy with you. It gets you hooked on the money and then plays with your mind. "Will I have ads today?" you wonder. You check. You don't. Curses to you, Youdata! you'll think. But you still go back and check, day in and day out, and bam! when you least expect it, you'll have a few ads.

It's just enough to keep you strung out on the few measly cents you get from keeping your relationship with Youdata. Just like a crackhead and a dealer.

Just like that.

And I'm sorry, it certainly isn't MY fault if Youdata now has so many lovers people who've signed up that it's been telling lies and swapping stories and creeping around corners to throw some ads at its other, um, crackheads. No, this is not my fault. So don't keep me hanging, Youdata, don't keep me hanging....