I decided to really do something I said I was going to do, and I cleaned out Mateo's closet this morning. We have a ton of stuff in there that just needs to be thrown out, sold or donated. That poor little boy's closet somehow turned into a cardboard box dumping ground, so I was using the boxes to take garbage out to the dumpsters.
I decided to just let go of the second baby hopes and threw out a lot of things: crib bumper; a relatively nice bag I got from Kaiser when I left the hospital that I almost kept but then decided I wouldn't really use it, especially since I haven't used it once since I came home from the hospital; all the contents inside that bag, including super duper maxi pads, pull-on meshy underwear and all kinds of baby feeding parts; random toys; beat up baby bathtub; inflatable baby bathtub; and a big bag of baby socks that are hopelessly loose and unmatched or with missing partners.
On my first trip out, I took a box full of stuff including the crib bumper and kaiser bag full o' "just had a baby" goodies. I dumped the garbage into the bin, then broke down the boxes for recycling.
When I was heading back to the dumpsters with more stuff to throw away, I saw a lady walking away from the dumpster with my, let me stress, MY crib bumper and Kaiser bag full o' goodies.
For some bizarre reason, I want to yell at her to put the stuff back. Because it's MY stuff and I wanted to throw it away. If I wanted someone to have that stuff, I would have donated it. Or tried to sell it. Or left it outside with a note that said: Please take this lovely light blue crib bumper and do something fantastic with it, and while you're at it, try to do something crafty with all the ginormous maxi-pads you'll find in this dashing, never used Kaiser bag. It was my dang garbage, and that's what I wanted it to be. Period.
She walked to the other side where the other dumpsters are and grabbed something. I kept waiting for her to look around in shame. Shame for taking MY garbage. Shame for taking anyone's garbage. She never did.
Then I was kinda embarrassed that she was going to open the Kaiser bag and find all the super horse-sized maxi pads and the weird pull on stretchy underwear. And then I thought: What do I care! She goes through the garbage!
And then I thought: Man, I don't know why she's going through the garbage, I don't know what she plans on doing with Mateo's crib bumper that I bought on eBay for a mere $5.00 (yes, the best deal ever - well, unless you get things free from the garbage) or the stuff in the Kaiser bag (I'm sure she never even looked because that bag is a nice bag, and now I'm starting to think I should have kept it because you never know when you need a bag), but I guess it's okay that someone's going to take the stuff and use it. Even if they did get it out of the garbage. I guess.
Now isn't it odd that I would even be mad about the whole thing? Like because I decided to throw the stuff away, that is the fate of the stuff and no one shall wander by and screw with my stuff's fate?
But what is she going to do with a crib bumper?
I almost feel like planting items so I can follow her and then grill her on what she does with the stuff she's taking. And, you know, visit with my stuff, just to see how the stuff is all doing. Making sure she's taking care of all my stuff. See how she's liking the huge maxi-pads. Maybe she's using them as potholders? Or turned the crib bumper into a few pillows. Or some seat cushions! She could even take in some baby squirrels and feed them using the baby feeding stuff.
And I don't even want to think about what she's doing with the weird meshy pull-on underwear.