Thursday, January 08, 2009

I have a serious case of baby envy.

It starts with our friend and his wife having their first baby on January 1st. Twinges. Memories. Bad and good memories, in fact, but that didn't dissuade me from wanting another baby NOW.

Then today I received an email from another friend with a picture of his baby's sonogram. That's when the real envy kicked in. To see that little kidney-shaped remember what it was like wondering what future Mateo would be like, desperately wanting to meet him and get to know him and help him learn what the world is all about and how he fits into it.... My stomach is still knotted up with weird baby anxiety.

My brain, it's going overboard with the "how can we?", "is it even possible?", "so what if we can't pay our mortgage if we have another baby!" thoughts.

I informed my husband that I wanted another baby and while I waited for his "yah, right," I started to think of all the stuff we've given away or sold, and how incredibly stupid that was because I must and I shall have another baby.

Then my husband responded to me: You get us millions of dollars and then yes.

I'm accepting donations until my eggs dry up. Thank you.

1 comment:

Kmommy said...

I can't believe you sold or gave away a bunch of stuff. I wasn't even sure whether we would have another after our first one together, but saved everything just in case (and it turned out to be a good thing!).
It doesn't really take a whole lot more money for another one... unless you use formula. Then yes, you will need millions ;)