I must share.

I love reading the odd google search terms people use and then somehow get to my blog. Some are just regular things like "gold crown stickers" and "baby proof litter box" and "husband TV."

But there was one today that was just the topper of toppers:

"Is it okay to put petroleum jelly in my butt."

Certainly this person didn't find their answer on my blog, and I'll apologize ahead of time to the person who searched this question in case they do it again and mysteriously end up on my blog again because I just posted the search term verbatim.

So why did they end up on my blog? Because of this post, which in no way discusses putting petroleum jelly in any one's butt. This post has actually been one of my most popular, as it seems people get little cuts on the side of their mouths a lot.

Let this be a lesson to YOU.

Yesterday my husband came into the living room and announced, "I hate My Space!"

I asked why. It was particularly weird that he was even on My Space because he's not the type to network socially; in fact, all he does on Facebook is play Scrabulous with me all day long while at work.

He said he got a friend request, and so he went and looked, and the friend request included a picture of a baby, and so he thought, "I need to see what's up with this baby."

(No, my husband isn't a weirdo who likes babies, he's a parent and a father and just happens to have babies on the brain.)

So he went to the page and it immediately wanted to run some program, which then caused the anti-virus protection program to work overtime. Eventually whatever was being downloaded was removed.

Now my husband is refusing all friend requests, including wayward babies, and is mad at My Space for allowing such things to happen to innocent fathers and parents.

My goodness, it's my husband and I.

One of us tends to elaborate more than the other, especially when he's (oops) not there.

I Hate Drake.

Not for the faint at heart Moms.

Mateo likes to play peek-a-boo and BOO! games with my husband and I. The other day, Mateo was in our bedroom, I was in Mateo's bedroom, and my husband was just leaving our room, telling Mateo to follow him. My husband told me Mateo was trying to run to catch up. I stood in his doorway, waiting for him to come out of our room. As soon as he took the first step out of our room, I yelled, rather loudly, "BOO!"

Mateo immediately dropped to the ground.

He sat on the ground for 3 seconds, and my husband and I started laughing, because even though it was mean, it was funny because he dropped like a limp rag.

Because we were laughing, Mateo started laughing nervously. He picked himself up and kept walking, laughing as he went.

So yeah, if I ever do that again, I won't do it so loudly. And don't feel so bad for him; he'll get me back and scare the crap out of me as he gets older.

Ah, good times. And yes, watch this, don't just roll your eyes at me.

Since I'm now hooked on these darn video podcasts because of my xmas present (iTouch video iPod), I'm always looking for really funny things to watch on my way to work and back. (Books? What are those? Eyes are for watching video podcasts, not reading. Pishshaw!)

This is one that made me laugh out loud on BART, something that is always fun to do because it's already weird enough that I'm staring at a little box that I periodically tap at, let alone laugh and smile while my eyes glitter with glee.



This video gave me even more school flashbacks (I know, I know, I said I'd write things about my past men (more of a joking statement than you'll ever realize), and about kid TV shows - and I will! I shall. I will.), especially all the journals I kept where I basically bemoaned my existance or complained about boyfriends. I still have them. They're packed away. I'm too afraid to read them because I really don't want to come to that realization of how silly I was as a teenager. I likened myself to dark and brooding -- the creative type people just didn't understand. I'm still dark and I still brood and I'm still creative and people still don't understand me, but my attitude about it all has taken a serious 180 turn (partially thanks to meds, thanks meds!).

Anyhoo. I hope you watch it. You. And you know who you are.

Drunk babies are no laughing matter.

Earthquake hits east bay! Donuts knocked awry!

I'm currently taking a class in SF on Flash, a lovely software that I'm eager to start using. When I left at lunch time, I headed a different way out of the building lobby, which happens to pass by the guard station. The guard station has one of those black signs where you insert white letters to create words. As I walked by it, I noticed it had important news regarding the earthquake that hit this morning (which, by the way, I was awake for, but did not feel). I caught:

Quake knocks donuts....

I figured it said something like, "...on the ground and got them all dirty with glass shards..." or better yet, "...through the air and kills patrons...," but I missed the end since I wasn't expecting to see such a sign and was already way passed it and didn't want to look silly by walking back to read it.

When I walked back in, after walking around for a bit, I made a point to walk by the sign again. I read the remainder of the sign:

"...awry. Mayor states...."

As I was reading the sign, and contemplating whipping out my cell phone to take a quick picture (even though I still haven't bought a cord to transfer pictures from my cell phone to my computer, but this would probably cause me to do so), the guard, who was obviously bored, I'm assuming, because he made a sign about the donuts said "hi" to me. Darn.

Not only could I now not take a picture at this point, but since he said "hi" to me, his guard instincts were probably kicking in and he probably took a mental photo of me, so when I left, I couldn't try to sneak a picture.

But alas, I'm glad to know that donuts were knocked awry. Those poor donuts, being the only victims of today's earthquake. Sad, sad donuts.

The story of my life.

Funny funny FUNNY

My co-worker sent me this link to listen to. She was snickering the whole time she was listening to it, and I kept thinking there was no way it was that funny. Turns out I'm wrong. Take a listen.