Saturday, September 10, 2005

Self-surgery is the best!

For some unknown reason to me (I'm cursed), I tend to have the stupidest things happen to me physically. Some are from my mom's genes (thanks again, mom) and the rest are all my own.

I've had a variety of lovely skin things happen to me:

  • I tend to get red spots all over my skin (Two times this year alone.)
  • Fungus (I know, it's gross, but these past experiences are part of me and I shan't deny them.)
  • Impetigo (This was fun -- I wouldn't go to school or see my boyfriend (now hubby) until it cleared up. When I called the Dr. to make an appointment for it, I started bawling as soon as the nurse got on the phone. I was very traumatized by this incident. To make matters worse, I had a small child whisper, "Look at her skin, mommy," while I was working.)
  • Weird lump on my wrist (I had it removed and now have a lovely oval scar on my wrist from where the stitches split open.)
  • Lumps on my head (Genes -- I had a self-surgery moment with my first lump similar to the one I'll be sharing with you. Since then, I've grown another lump on the back of my head that my husband is afraid to touch.)

What happened to me tonight was a new one. I have moles in different places on my body. Not too bad -- nothing to scare the kids off or anything. One mole is a chunky one on my right hip bone.

I mean: Was on my right hip bone.

So there we were (hubby and I), watching Most Haunted on Saturday night. I suddenly got an itch on my hip, so I scratched it. And then I was in pain. So I looked down, and low and behold, my mole was split around the bottom edge and bleeding.

"Oh, my," I said. Really loud.

"What...?" my husband said.

"My mole is coming off!" I yelled and ran to the bathroom.

"Put a band aid on it!" my husband yelled back at me.

I got to the bathroom and looked at my poor, falling off mole. It had what looked like a whitehead in the middle of it. It was splitting along the bottom edge and bleeding and touching it hurt.

What do to. What to do.

So I yanked it off and pulled out a really long ingrown hair root as a bonus. That was the whitehead looking thing, I guess. I was left with a 2 centimeter in diameter hole that wouldn't stop bleeding for the life of me. I was going to faint. My life was in danger.

I put a big band aid on it and went back into the living room.

"I have a HOLE in my HIP NOW!" I told my husband. "I had to yank the thing off! There was an ingrown hair in the middle of it!"

"Uh, thanks for the information...," he said. "And you don't have a hole in your hip."

"It won't stop BLEEDING!" I said.

"You'll survive," he told me.

I just wonder if my mole will come back after my bleeding, gaping hole heals, or if I'll just have yet another scar on my skin.

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