Friday, October 14, 2005


First let me say to my mom: I'm sorry, but I had to do it.

I love my parents to death. Sometimes they surprise me and are knowledgeable about things. Hey, they watch TV and movies. They sometimes know what the crazy kids these days are doing.

Then...well, there are other times when their parental innocence strikes me like rapid wagging dog's tail.

For example. (Again, mom, if you're reading this -- maybe you should go watch some TV and wait for my next entry.) My parents have come up with two clever license plates for their past two cars. They are clever folks, I will admit that. They recently purchased a new car, and with being so clever, they would have to think of a new clever license plate for their new car.

My dad was waxing his car (which is rather big and hard to get out of and one time I almost fell on my face when exiting it and my mom hysterically laughed at me) when his clever bell started ringing. Big car....waxing.... big job. BGWAXJB.

My mom told me this this morning on the phone. My brain, being the sort that always thinks rapidly and too much and usually comes up with the worst possible scenario in all cases, quickly thought: Porn. I told my mom to not use that. Don't use that! That's not good!!!

She then told me how my dad came up with the name (see above), and told me, "It's cute."

Cute? That's not cute! That's BAAADDDD. Because if I'm immediately thinking of porn, then there has to be at least 1MM others that would too. Or more. I really don't know how many people live in our country.

I told her she may want to rethink that. My mom, being the innocent that she is, said, "Why? It's cute!" This coming from the lady that just learned what a "hummer" is.

I said, "Yah, if you're in the porn industry."

She told me it was too late, they already ordered the plate.

I pondered what my husband would think. So I emailed him and asked him what was the first thing in his mind was when he read "BGWAXJB." He said porn. I told him the story behind it, and he said my parents should think again before ordering it. I said it was already ordered. He said he hopes they don't get mistaken for porn stars. Then we laughed.

So I asked my friend via email what she thought when she sees BGWAXJB. She said, "blow job."

This wasn't looking good.

I asked someone else, and they said it has nothing to do with waxing a car....but waxing something and then she gave me a weird look. I told her about it, and she said, "Are you serious???"

Now, these are all people my age. So perhaps folks in my parent's age sector will appreciate the license plate for what it is. Not a calling out to those who enjoy big, um, porn acts, but for those that have owned a large car at some point in their life and really understand what a big wax job entails.

I just wish my parents would call me first before they do these things. While I am aging and now sport some grey hairs, I'm a bit more keen on what those crazy kids are doing. And if I don't know, I can certainly find out.

So if you see a car zooming around town advertising its wears, just know that the people inside are my parents and that I love them, so don't you dare ask for their autograph or try to take a picture of them!

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