The worst thing about being a parent.

So there we were, watching The Departed, which features a bazillion gunshots because it's a cop/irish mob movie, and Mateo was sleeping off and on during the movie. Mateo finally woke up and was in a smiley good mood. I was playing with him while he sat in his vibratey chair when right at the end of the movie there was a single gun shot (did I ruin the movie? NO! Gun shots galore!). Mateo's face bunched up, his lower lip stuck out and he started crying like someone screamed "Boo!" right behind him. Thanks to The Departed, the bejesus was scared out of him.

I'm still not used to the reality that Mateo can get scared. I don't mind the crying because he's tired, the goofy smiles cause he's happy, the looks away because he's bored, the grunts and body slams because he's frustrated, but I'm not ready and probably will never be ready to watch my baby cry like that because he's scared.

I promptly scooped him up, teared up and hugged him until my smiley boy came back.