Sunday, November 16, 2008

Being a saint can be tough, especially when you don't realize you are one.

The other day my husband put on his facebook status that he hopes he has a better workout that night than the one he had the night before. I, being the funny gal that I am, stated that with the amount of sweat drenching his clothes when he came home, I wonder if a better workout equals being squeezed dry of all liquids from one's body. He replied that he wasn't lifting as heavy as he used to. I, being even more of a funny gal than I was in the previous reply to his status, stated that we'll throw the old medicine ball around later on that night. (After I wrote that, I started wondering if his friends (most of whom are my friends) would think that was some odd sexual innuendo, but really, I was merely making fun of his incessant need to workout all the time.)

We've been eating mostly vegetarian since the vegetarian challenge, but we're both realistic, and we've both eaten meat off an on. For whatever reason, eating more veggie meals has caused me to crave turkey and bacon. I had to have a turkey sandwich one day or I felt as if I would die. Then this past week I couldn't stop thinking about bacon; the more bacon the better. Bacon, bacon, bacon and more and more bacon. I even planned to make bagel BLTs at the end of the week, but then completely forgot about that great idea and bought stuff for boboli pizza instead. Believe you me, when I remembered about my BLTs, I was darn sad with myself for forgetting all about the bacon I so desperately needed.

For this week's meal plan, I decided to make two meals with meat in them. I'm not sure why. I think I was just getting tired of trying to come up with something different yet tasty. But I did find this one lentil sloppy joe's recipe that intrigued me, so I decided to make that at the end of the week with a nice black bean salad. And yes, since my husband and I already had a discussion about how I actually would choose to eat lentils while he "has eaten" them, I wasn't quite sure how receptive he'd be of this idea.

We were eating dinner tonight (same Vietnamese noodle bowl type thing with pork - actually really tasty) when I told my husband I was going to feed him tons of meat this week because I'm going to try something different on him later this week.

He got spooked. "What?"

I said, "Just trust me. It's not going to have sour cream or mayo in it - I'm not going to feed you anything you really don't like."

So I thought that was it.

Here's the thing that I think is so weird with social situations because I can be the type of person who says stuff or does stuff and never really thinks other people think about it later on or even talk about it with others. I guess I don't feel I leave much of an impression on others, even though I find myself darn funny most times.

I walked into our bedroom and my husband was already in there. He immediately said, "It's because I said I wasn't lifting heavy like I used to, huh?"

Feeling like I walked into some odd conversation I wasn't even slightly aware I was part of (sorta like when someone with a bluetooth wanders into a room and you can't tell if he is talking to you -!), I said, "Huh?"

"You're cooking meat because I said on my status that I wasn't lifting heavy like I used to," he said.

Awwweee...I thought. Now I feel bad. Was I supposed to try to fix that situation by plowing him with protein? Should I lie and say that yes, that is the exact reason, so he thinks I'm thoughtful and swell? Should I be honest and just tell him that I never once thought about that statement again and that I only thought it was good fodder for jokes?

"Um, nooooo...," I said, "I'm sorry, but that isn't why I'm making things with meat in it."

I sat down and tried to ignore him and this whole situation because it makes me wonder what else he thinks about when I open my mouth and say stuff.

"I don't believe you," he told me.

"Okayyyyy...," I said and immediately stuck my nose in my laptop. He smuggly continued folding clothes.

I am now avoiding all meal-related topics of conversation.

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