Sunday, January 14, 2007


What is this thing called 'nesting'?

Someone at work asked me if I had been nesting yet. I truthfully said no. This is partially due to the fact that I'm always too tired to really get motivated to do anything and partially due to the fact that whenever I take a nap, that's when my husband decides to rearrange the baby's room. When I wake up, it's different, and he always says, "I know you probably won't like it...," and if I hint that I want something moved, he gets pissy, so I just keep my mouth shut.

I declared this weekend the weekend to buy the things I need for the hospital and to pack my hospital bag (including Mateo's stuff as well) and to just get myself somewhat prepared so I don't have to worry about that. I have a bazillion forms I need to fill out as well and thank you cards to write because of my work baby shower.

We went back to SF yesterday to pick up all the baby shower gifts and then went to target to buy the rest of the stuff we need. When we got home, I was totally done for and had to lay down because my lower back, legs, pelvic joints, muscles, etc. etc. etc. were hurting so badly. Typically when I'm feeling like this, I stay down and let my brain go in circles about all the things I need/should be doing until I fall asleep (makes for a wonderful, fitful sleep), but on Saturday, after about 30 minutes, I got up and headed into Mateo's room to start sorting through all the baby shower gifts we received plus the target stuff and the other items we still haven't dealt with, like sheets and mattress pad and random toys that needed tags taken off.

My husband saw me milling around like a turtle in pain, and he told me he was going to take care of everything, and I informed him firmly that maybe I didn't want him to "take care of it" and that I wanted to do it. That's when I realized the nesting instinct was taking over my brain. It took 35 weeks, but I finally felt the need to get everything ready and washed and packed even though I could barely move and was super tired. That's when I told him that he's got to leave me be and let me freak out about everything or else I'll start crying (I'm doing this more and more and usually over nothing).

I took everything that needed to be washed into the living room, took them out of the packages, cut off tags, and began sorting for washing. Now, if you know me, you should know this is not something I do. I've never been allowed to wash our clothes and only until we moved into our condo have I been allowed to wash towels and sheets. My husband does this and he doesn't trust me and I really don't blame him. Then I dragged all my piles into Mateo's room for washing during the week.

Unfortunately, while I'm further along with my nesting process than I was on Friday, I still don't feel like I've accomplished anything and it's always in the back of my head that I need to do this and that and this and that. But really, if for some reason I went into labor today, it would be all okay. Mateo's got clothes and diapers and a place to sleep and blankets and wipes and lots and lots of love from his mom and dad.

Now if I keep telling myself that, maybe I'll take this time to actually allow my large, pregnant body to rest a bit.

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