Let me tell you how I almost went up into a ball of flames.

Every morning I do the same thing with my hair. I wash it, let it air dry for a bit, blow dry it, then straighten it. My hair is long. I do not use any hair product unless I need to tame my cowlick, and then I put product to smoosh it down after I'm done blowdrying and straightening.

So this morning, there I was, innocently blow drying my long hair, when a loud crack! and pop! sounded, quickly followed by bursts of sparks.

At first I was like, "OMG. What the hell? The world is coming to an end!"

And then another huge spark burst from the hair dryer, and I realized it was all coming from the machine o' death.

I heard my husband say, "Are you okay?"

I threw the hair dryer on the ground and stood staring at it.

I could smell burnt hair.

I was in shock!

My husband walked over and asked me if I was okay again, and, like the big baby I am, I started crying.

He unplugged the hair dryer and looked at it. Apparently the part of the cord that attaches to the hair dryer base was completely worn away and some wires were exposed.

My shirt was burnt, and I'm assuming some of my hair was burnt too, but otherwise, I was okay. Miraculously.

Now just think if I had used hair product in my hair before blow drying it? You'd have to call me Patchy McPatches.

And if the stupid machine o' death didn't stop sparking after I turned it off (I don't remember doing that, but I guess I did or it just died) and threw it on the ground? Poof, no more condo!

Only me, people, only me do these things happen to.