Why is that so bittersweet?
Mateo is now two and a big boy. We had a small family celebration for him on Sunday, where he got to blow out the candles on his cake and eat a tiny bit of cake (because, you know, he's a fruitarian and doesn't partake in chocolately cake like everyone else does). Yesterday, on his actual birthday, I brought cake to his daycare for a little party. My mom (aka Bucket to Mateo - don't ask) came with.
You'd think your kid would be tickled to have his mom there and cake - a cake with a matchbox car shoved in the frosting - and his grandma and his friends and all that. But no. Well, he was really happy to see me, but when he realized he wasn't leaving, I think he was totally thrown off.
This is basically what he looked like the whole time he was there:
Why the hell are you here?
My kid is a smiley kid. A happy kid. But in every picture I took of him, he looked like he'd rather be in forced seclusion with no fa-fa or baby in reach. And in the dark too since he's not liking the dark much these days.
As soon as everyone was done eating and he got his hands washed, he wanted to go home and he told me so. Repeatedly. So we left, he had one of his typical flip-outs because he wanted to go into this one classroom but couldn't because there was actual kids and a teacher in the room, so he became a screaming, limp ragdoll.
Regardless, I'm glad he got to celebrate with his friends since just yesterday I realized he actually has friends. I never knew he had an attachment to this one kid in his class, and he to Mateo, until yesterday. I just assumed Mateo was still in that "I'm the only kid who exists in this world" stage. And, of course, Mateo moves out of his room next week and leaves his friend behind for a month or so, which is going to break both their hearts and mine as well.
Growing up is tough. I'm still working on it.
Happy Birthday, my sniggly biggly, monkey love, sweety, baby boy!